Reverse Culture Shock

So it has been exactly a year since I have been in America and just about exactly a year since I have lived in Boston. I thought I would write about how I have adjusted to being state side.

A lot of people ask me about the difference between West coast vs. East coast. I honestly can't think of tons, but that is because when I moved out here I was adjusting to living in America let alone the East coast. I have been able to travel to Rhode Island, New York, and all over Boston using public transportation. The west coast has public transportation, but I don't think it is as built up and does not go as far. However that could be because on the East coast the states are smaller and closer together. However coming from the West coast it was adjustment realizing another state was not too far away.  Boston with all the different neighborhoods and cities that bleed together has also been adjustment to get used to. I feel like in Oregon there were distinct differences going from Corvallis to say Albany. You can tell when one city ends and the other begins.

I mentioned public transportation in the East coast, but it is so much better in China. The trains rarely were late or broken. I took the bus occasionally and I rarely had problems. When I was in New York I was shocked that the train was late. However what also got me was they couldn't announce what track it was leaving from until 15 minutes from the departure. So I didn't exactly know where to wait since I did not know what track it was pulling into. No matter how early I showed up to the train station in China I knew exactly where I was boarding and which seat was mine.

People complain about buses or trains being too crowded, but to me nothing is as bad as some of the experiences I had in China. For example one time in Nanjing when I was traveling in rush hour. It was wall to wall people. My backpack and purse were shoved in peoples faces. There is also this station on the subway in Shanghai that I purposely avoided because of the cramming of people. So you had to go across the platform and switch trains at this station. However what happened was they weren't timed well. So inevitably an empty train would leave and then on the next train you had to fit two train's worth of people on it. Also think what made taking public transportation in China worse was that people did not wait to let people off the train or bus. Once those doors opened it was a free for all. A comedian I saw at a stand-up show described it as you are on the train staring at the people who want on the train and you are going to play chicken. So in general on public transportation Chinese were more pushy. Sometimes I just let people in front of me push through the crowd and I went with the flow. However here people wait to let you off the train. People move out of the way to let you on or off. Sometimes if they can't move out of the way they get off the train or bus to let you through then get back on. All these practices are not common in China. Once when I was riding the train I started moving my way through the crowd towards the door while the train was moving before my stop. Someone near me got mad at me for doing that and said I had to wait until the train stopped. It was a common thing to do in China. I was worried I would not have enough time to fight through the crowd to get off the train. However I did not have to fight my way off the train like in China, so I had plenty of time to get off the train when it pulled up to the stop. I realized that maybe I was using the culture I learned in China. I also felt like wherever I was in China there was always a feeling of rush, because there was tons of people in line behind or waiting to get on the train. I always felt rushed at the grocery store. There was no person to bag your groceries and there were lots of people waiting. I was always felt this sense that I had to rush. A lot of times I would just through stuff in the cart. Then properly bag stuff away from the register. I have not felt this sense of rush while being in America.

Speaking of not having lots of people around. There was a moment where I really felt culture shock and it was when I was home just for the summer. So it was the first day being home after a year in China. I think it might have been the summer in between my second year in China and my third year in China. So my first night home a friend invited me to a party. I decided to go so that I could make my body stay up for most of the night and go to bed at a normal hour. So my friend lived just down the block, so I walked down the street to their house. As I stepped outside their was no one on the street and no one on the road. It actually stressed me. One car drove by a little later, but it still freaked me out. I was so used to stepping out on the street in China to see lots of people, cars, taxis, black taxis, and little pedi-cabs. There were always people around no matter the hour. It was a moment of realization that the culture had changed. I reminded myself that Corvallis is a small town and during the summer when the college students aren't around it is even smaller. So this was no weird phenomenon for Corvallis in the summer. I believe that same summer I would walk in to a restaurant and think of how many people were with me. Then I would translate that into Chinese. I very nearly told the American waitress how many people we had in our party in Chinese. I had to remind myself that I was in America and I need to speak in English.

I recently had a dream in Chinese where I was showing a Chinese family my home. I was speaking very basic Chinese and poor Chinese, but I was shocked that my dream included so much Chinese. It has been a year since I left China yet I am dreaming about speaking Chinese. I also was eating tons of my favorite dumpling in the dream. That makes sense because one of the big things I miss about China is the food. I still have not really had any Chinese food since I have left. I do thins because I know it won't be as good. I have to separate Chinese food and American Chinese food in my brain.

Another big thing I occasionally miss is being able to yell waitress across the restaurant when I need something. In China in restaurants if you need to get the waitresses attention it is perfectly acceptable to yell waitress across the restaurant. It took me a while to be comfortable with this because it felt so rude. I would still try to get the waitress's attention by making eye contact at first. If that didn't work then I would yell. I was in a restaurant once and saw a foreigner struggling to get the waitresses attention. I could tell he was probably in China for not very long. So I yelled for the waitress and then pointed at him. The waitress went over to him and asked him what he needed. He then nodded to me. I felt like I helped out my fellow expat and showed him what to do in a restaurant. I would often go out to restaurants by myself and read as I ate. I enjoyed the Chinese wait staff then because they would leave you alone and not bother you unless you call from them. This left me time alone to read. I would do this same thing in America, but they would always check in on me which I didn't need when I was reading. The difference is because in America they are working for a tip. However there were times I got really irritated by the Chinese wait staff and wished I could tip. Sometimes the service was that bad. I mean what we could resort to do was not go to the restaurant again which was not always a great option. Anyways sometimes when I am in a crowded bar or restaurant here in America and I am trying to get the waitstaff's attention I wish I was in China. I wish I could just yell to get their attention, but that is rude to do in America.

The that I most looked forward to whenever I returned to China was being able to safely and correctly cross the street. In China the traffic and pedestrians are crazy. You can always tell how long someone has been in China by the way they cross the street. My third year there I definitely took some liberties on how I crossed the street. However you had to do that or you would never get across. When I came home and spent summers in Corvallis I would walk everywhere. I loved it and would just soak up the safe feeling I had in the crosswalk. I don't understand why people cross the streets crazy here in the states, but I guess they can get away with it since the cars will not do crazy things for the most part and will give you right away. So when I moved back to the states I went back to following all the rules and enjoyed having rules that were respected by all. However I quickly learned in Boston pedestrians didn't always follow the rules and the drivers often don't follow the rules. They are aggressive drivers that are often referred to as mass holes. So I had take some of what I learned about crossing the street in China and use it in Boston. However I still couldn't get away with some of things I did in China here in Boston.

So I still feel like China is home and sometimes I miss it. Sometimes I really don't. However living there has forever changed how I see things and how I traverse the world.